Struggling

I'm battling with a depression that's set in so quickly, I'm actually feeling and surprised by the whiplash.

I'm desperately hoping that this is nothing more than a moment of severe, suffocating stress that will eventually lift--but the fear sets in when I can't see or even imagine that point, that light in the proverbial tunnel.

I look forward to nothing; nothing excites me; nothing feels fun; nothing inspires excitement. Camping, knitting, being with friends for a lunch hour, completing a long over-due ceramics project, school, future dreams coming into reality... It all just feels like a dreaded chore not worth looking forward to, not worth the excitement that the end results would normally arouse.

Excitement feels like a chore.

I'm doing research today--research on starting a small business, research on natural depression and anxiety remedies, research for Sterling gear.

Which all just adds the stress of the finances needed to fund everything. It'll happen, it'll come. I still have faith and believe that which is, needless to say, a huge relief and promising.

I have to fix this immediately, I refuse to lose myself to that wandering path ever again. I will never succumb but will relish in my victory over it

Love!